You are familiar with this phrase right? What do we mean by this and why do we use it? I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this phrase.

I think it can be an expression of resignation in the face of circumstances that we do not like. The expression comes after an effort to somehow view the undesirable circumstance in a better or more favorable light. “It is what it is” is an admission that we are not able (or don’t want) to see it differently. This could be viewed as a perspective that lacks faith. Or it could be viewed as an honest assessment that refuses to accept spiritual platitudes. In either case, it also carries the sense that it is not going to change because we cannot change it.

Is it a statement of healthy acceptance or a fatalistic resignation to the status quo? I am not sure. It might depend on the situation as in the Serenity Prayer,

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Perhaps the important thing to determine is how the expression reflects on our relationship with God. When we are saying or thinking this, where is God? A teacher in my spiritual director training program has his own version of this saying, “It is what it is. And what it is, the teacher is.” In this Yoda-like saying, there is the determination that the circumstances (what it is) are good for something, particularly if we are willing to look at them through the lens of what we can learn. It is an acceptance that expresses faith in the presence of God and His purposes within those circumstances.

I do not think this is a call back into spiritual platitudes that need to see the circumstances as good and beneficial. Because we do not need to be able to see or understand how something is good in order for it to be good. Trusting is not the same as understanding.

And the teacher role in this saying could be understood as training teaching rather than understanding teaching. It may be that living through the “what it is” is developing something in us that serves God’s purposes, training in righteousness. So rather than seeking to understand it, we should be seeking to walk through it in a way that is spiritually healthy and honoring to God. Do we need to understand it in order to accept it as something God is present in?

Romans 8:26 on the role of the Holy Spirit indicates that our understanding is not necessary.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God

Romans 8:26

We do not even understand enough to know how or what to pray for. Notice that the Spirit does not give us the understanding so that we do know what to pray for, instead the Spirit intercedes for us. It is good to seek understanding, but we seek in the context of recognizing that there are things about the mind of the Spirit and the will of God that are beyond us.

So “It is what it is” can be healthy acceptance of an inability to understand, while continuing to trust in God’s presence and purpose. Will you think differently the next time you use or hear this phrase?

I would love to connect with you about these posts if they have stirred any thoughts or questions. Take a minute, shoot me an email at bo@leavenedlives.org, and let’s see where that takes us.